the path comforts me
that familiar sound of gravel under my feet draws me into peace
as well as fear
I'm attracted yet recoils
seems i fear what i most adore
its a raw desire
in the silent envelop I could hear my heart race
yet i also sublime into the seeming calm
almost familiar and safe
a contradiction that has never failed to intrigue
what is it?
what do i seek?
what seeks me?
My workplace in a formal time had this big garden filled with fruit and rubber trees. I chance upon this spot one day when I had to go deep into the garden for some work. Since that day, I'm attracted to that spot every day during lunch and sometimes after work. Being the coward I am, I will allow this inexplicable pull during the bright sunny hours of lunch and avoid the after work pull around dusk. It's weird. It fascinated and freaked me out. How I felt is best describes in these words above which I regurgitated under a tree near that spot. Till this day, I will sometime have these feelings when I cross certain spots. Never again at a place where I work though and so there were no other spot I actually frequented.